colamonster

Told ya I'm cosplaying.


Silhouette Cosplay by ~zehntes on deviantART

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I'm proud of this shot! It's lightning. No bolt, but wooah. :D


Light Up the Clouds by ~zehntes on deviantART

One of my fave movies ever ever ever, Christiane F. - Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo (1981).



Can't forget that detox scene.

I want this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0590203207?ie=UTF8&tag=sticanddonu-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0590203207

And just uploaded this

Tuesday Evening Dreams by ~zehntes on deviantART

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And yeah, I should draw more. I did. But my scanner's not working so it would be a while before I could get it into the 'puter and color it.

So much for wanting to get into this overseas art school. :D

Ooh you've seen this everywhere!


Learn to spot the warning signs in time – you know you're becoming a design geek when:

1. You smile that spanking-kind-of-smile when you use the CSS property: padding-bottom.

2. You know exactly what I'm referring to when I say "Make my logo bigger".

3. Every now and then you go through a ‘herbal tea’ phase to try and reduce your dependence to coffee, but you always go back to the inky demon eventually.

4. You've caught yourself more than once hitting CTRL or CMD+N when you need a coffee refill...

5. Sleep and nighttime are no longer irrevocably linked.

6. You have woken up in the middle of the night your sleep and started recreating the dream you just had in Photoshop.

7. When getting up, you wish you had a healing brush/patch tool for those unsightly blemishes and undereye luggage.

8. Your keyboard could definitely be someone’s grocery list - you're eating there constantly.

9. You know several Photoshop shortcuts that require 4 fingers
(Shift+Ctrl+Alt+K anyone?).

10. Whenever you see fog on a forested hillside, you think, nature is making a gaussian blur.

11. You're sitting in the movie theater watching the movie titles, shaking your head at how badly they're kerned.

12. Your biggest fear is Papyrus becoming the new Comic Sans.

13. If you could go back in time you wouldn't go back to see the rise and fall of civilizations, you'd go back in time to destroy Comic Sans and Papyrus.

14. Your most romantic date was when you went to see Helvetica by Gary Hustwit.

15. You've considered naming your children things like 'Kern', 'Pica', 'Bézier', 'Nyala', and 'Serif'.

16. You are trying catch the post-it notes at your monitor with your cursor.

17. You know that, by default, if three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen - or any combination of worst components of each.

18. You also know that if you ask for more copy it will be sent as a Jpeg; If you ask for images they will be sent as PowerPoint presentations; if you ask for a vector logo, it'll come in the form of a Gif – from their website.

19. You have an uncanny ability to automatically see when something is lined up properly without the need for tools or devices, for instance if a shelf is straight, and where the center of the wall is to hang a picture.

20. And as a direct cause, get an almost uncontrollable urge to adjust a painting that's tilted ever so slightly.

21. And when in doubt, you automatically think CTRL or CMD+;

22. When girls are picking up Vogue and Cosmopolitan drooling over the latest trend in eye makeup and trying to figure out how to accomplish the the same effect, you're drooling over the most amazing 2 page advertising spread you've ever seen - trying to figure out how to accomplish the the same Photoshop effect...

23. You actually understand this post and pass it on to your fellow geeks/friends.

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Can I add a #24? You're upset your film geek boyfriend refused to watch Helvetica because it's just a documentary about a font. JUST A FONT?? Dude.

Oh yeah, #22 also goes with the boys' Maxims/FHMs. I pointed out the airbrushed and liquefied parts. Not being catty or anything!

But I take good care of the laptop and I don't want to think of children. Eeek.

still got Vacation Brain. english and grammar getting very screwy. i'm getting the dumbs worse than ever.

PS another pile of rocks


Dead Span and a Long Way Home by ~zehntes on deviantART

Why do I always look angry or sad? I'm not even angry or sad there. When I smile it only looks sinister (with a bit of awkwardness). In photos when I laugh, I look like a hissy vampire or about to chomp on something. Maybe my face is just stuck that way.

I don't think I look good. I didn't grow up pretty or being told so; the opposite happens but whatever. A lot of girls spend their adolescence being bothered about whether they objectively look good already or whether they need to improve. And yeah I guess I had been negative and bitter about a lot of parts.

I'm far from genetically gifted or photogenic. Other than having funny facial angles that look different at every turn and an ugly mouth, I won't name any more parts or it will take forever.

Sighs. It sucks not having enough sense of humor about one's own appearance...
You know, when you're somewhere in the middle of the pretty-to-ugly-spectrum and you don't know if you should just
1. "own" your face and joke about it (which gives you character) or just
2. genuinely strike a pose like a gorgeycakes babex100 instead of shunning it (but awkwardly get photographed anyway, then tagged in facebook eek).

Yeah. My sense of humor fails at that area.

I need more jumproping.

Jesus Christ on a unicorn.

You have no idea how far and deeply some people could BS.

Maybe said person is just trying to provoke me. That is ok because there is nothing we can do about compulsive liars but never take them seriously and play along as we do towards autistics who have their own world.

They tell you about how awesome their life is, how cashed-up, how many dogs they own, how interesting, how well-connected and who they are best friends with, how suddenly talented overnight - yet still have no proof and have way too many inconsistencies with the stories.
Maybe if said person goes to great lengths to cover up shit or make up stories just for me or other group text recipients, I/we should be flattered. Or something's just wrong with said person's head, which makes for a great excuse for him/her to continue being an ass.

I just have a problem of being bullshitted about though. Playing "insider" with made-up stories of some kind of moving friendship just to brag or make others jealous, or trying to destroying my rep because of sourgraping.

I also don't want anyone stopping me from being friends with anyone. With the sheer blast of BS I end up looking like the bad person. Potential friendship ruined.

I don't want anyone contradicting everything I say, trashing anything I've decided to attempt, desperate to stop me from doing everything he/she cannot go out and do.

Friends and even Vince tell me I'm a stonewall. Too "Vulcan" and cutthroat.
So what is the point of trying to annoy me or still trying to keep me insecure and stagnant in order to keep me around? Sounds like something a high school cunt would do. One you realize in the end is a bad friend and you should eliminate.

Or maybe said person only feels left behind because, despite my lack of opportunities, low or mediocre background and terrible self-esteem before, I am progressing fast while said person stays stuck and aging in the room.
I'm happy now. It may shock some people how much I've changed. Growing up and taking responsibility is not as hard as it sounds.

I actually go out and do something. Get a project, pick up a new hobby, meet friends and make some, exercise, take photos and actually show them, etc, instead of lying about it.

Just thinking out loud so everyone who gets it knows. This is the truth. No apologies because it's not my fault afterall. I've had enough of this shit and I'm not the forgiving type.

Cheers :)

Two good articles about happiness:

http://www.skelliewag.org/find-your-flow-and-the-money-will-follow-941.htm

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2002-12-08-happy-main_x.htm

And I got here:





Oh, come ON. Of course it's what I really want - it's so win-win and everyone's happy. Besides, do we still need to pop MORE babies? Do you have scientific knowledge of why it "messes with marriage"? Like your own marriage is any good at all to begin with, old fart.

Also found it weird the ad is on a lolcat site.

Just saw Star Trek yesterday. I enjoyed it. But this post is more about something related to it than the movie/series itself.



Geek is sexy now but I don't think I'm a geek. I cannot bring myself to care enough about stats, jargons, details, epiodes, collections, webs of backstories, timelines and periods enough to be a geek with it. Also I get too impatient and switch interests or fandoms--that is if I took it seriously in the first place, which is rare.

Maybe I'm a halfass geek about lots of things. Jacking-of-all-trades (did that sound wrong?). Music, internet, web design and SEO, contemporary art?, fashion?, artsy/indie comicbooks?, film?...

Not sci-fi or fantasy. Not anime. Certainly not games. I wish I did! The last three I just do not know where to begin taking interest in. They need a lot of investing in, perhaps years of devotion.
Reasons? I never owned a console and can't bear sitting down for a very long time without getting something out of it, had a falling out with a friend who was way too obsessed with arcade games, can't stand some of the obsessive fans particularly hard core/deluded otakus, encountered self-esteem-predating elitists who'd stink-eye and oppose anything I'd start getting into just because it's me (not naming names OK?), and had an anime-hating period when I was younger for a number of reasons.

But yes, I know, I know, I missed out on a lot.

Hobbies are great as long as they don't own you instead. The negative aspects of geekdom is that perhaps it keeps people bound to a certain spectrum of interests. I do not want to be limited. It is also still pride-wars and highschool anywhere, even among hobbyists. They take pride at their possessions while I have no patience nor share their ideals at acquiring a collection, amount of knowledge, game level and ability, etc.

Really, I'm too indiscriminate and objective and apathetic. I'd like to try escapism but I just can't pull it off. I envy those who can really immerse themselves into universes, even if it's politics or science or history or TV shows. I guess that's why I have a bunch of cool geek friends that I enjoy talking to. Also, I like the fact that I do not know everything and have always been honest about it while keeping my mind open to things they share to me.

Now onto the taxonomy crap. I don't know where I belong to actually. I could've had a goth phase when I was younger had I the access, haha. I wasn't a straight-A student but got along with the star section kids in highschool (who have their own heirarchy anyway). When I was little I was obsessed with science. I've always been an outsider. Now I could be anywhere and nowhere at the same time. Happily floating, interested in everything but knowing that I'm only one person and can do so much. Besides, sharply defined cliques is so passe and juvenile.

Marjorie Faire - Waves
Fantastic song to make you ache for the summer.

Nena - 99 Luftballoons
Watchmen has a rather inappropriate soundtrack but I like this song on its own. I've been hearing this song here and there my whole life but never cared to look for it earlier until the movie used it, heheh.

Spinnerette - Ghetto Love
Brody Dalle's (The Distillers) new band. Fuck I'm addicted to this song.

Portal OST - Still Alive
Ending song of a game called Portal that I watched being played at friends' house. Left me nauseated afterward. Cute robot emoness. Thanks Mimi!

Ultraviolet Sound - Dead On The Dancefloor
I don't know where I first heard this but it's so, for the lack of a better word, catchy. I am hooked.

Tegan & Sara - I Know I Know I Know
Bittersweet. I love them.


More next time.

At the core I’m actually pretty loud. I’m rediscovering myself all over again due to improved relationship with parents, better self esteem and realizing the glaring truth about people who try to prey on my spirit.

I remember how talkative, social, giggly, loud and curious I am as a kid and that I wanted to be an artist. In my opinion our child selves (before we become tainted by negative circumstances, seeing the ugliness of the world we live in, and social norms that aim to flatter the Ego) say a lot about how we really are. Those were the days before we start losing ourselves to social influences that shaped our choices, behavior and perspectives – Before we get all overthinking, self-conscious or insecure about tons of things that we realize are bullshit and choose to return to basics (but not after wasting a massive amount of irrecoverable time).

In less than a couple of weeks I was in Hong Kong I impulsively wanted to get short blond hair (but the colorist sucked so I dyed it down to chocolate brown that faded to golden brown). I also got myself a set of rather unnatural contact lenses.

My stay in HK taught me that most Cantonese know how to dress, carry and assert themselves (compared to the majority of people back in Manila). The smarts, the outspokenness, the tastes and the generous love they have for their brains, bodies and spirits make them aces as human beings.

I just tell myself now not to "think." Just fucking draw, paint, take pictures, dress up. If my brain decides to rationalize with "not worth it/what's the point/it sucks" I just try my best to keep myself distracted with whatever it is I'm working on, or just go hang out with people. Nothing is more depressing than being with myself anyway.

I can't wait to go back to Manila.



By the way, I got a camera now. :D

Yes I'm in HK now and everyone's panicking. They quarantined an entire hotel, guest and staff, and tracked down all airplane passengers of the flight with the Mexican carrier. Yet to find the two cabdrivers who took the unfortunate senor around.

They have it in Canada too. Funny, China seems to be keeping mum about their condition and we're going there next.

Check out what I found online: statement masks designed by Yoriko Yoshida. Heheh, viral marketing.

Picked bands that start with the letter S.

SMAP - kimi iro omoi
Akazukin Cha Cha!

Splashdown - Thunder
Electronica rock with Middle Eastern influence.

Spin Aqua - Unchained
Anna Tuchiya's old band.

Sonata Arctica - Wind Beneath My Wings
Progressive metal cover that is oddly good!

The Solids - Hey Beautiful
The How I Met Your Mother's opening has a full song.

Something Corporate - Punk Rock Princess
Don't know a thing about these guys but I like this song since highschool. Cute.

I miss blogging, even if I make a lot of errors and typos and skip words or glue them together. I miss sharing very random things.

And here, I just have to post this trailer. Directed by Spike Jonze, based on the children's book Where the Wild Things Are. Western release fall this year. Song in the trailer's Wake Up by The Arcade Fire. Weee!



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And here, have a Romanesco broccoli! Fractal yum.

Saw Slumdog Millionaire yesterday. I love it.